women supporting women

Camaraderie over Cattiness

So, let me start off by saying I’m new to this world. Before I started dating my boyfriend, the world of WAGS and football seemed deeply mysterious and cloak-and-dagger. My perception was based off of what I read and saw, although I took this with a grain of salt, because making TV for a living let me know that situations are often glamorized and edited for drama. Yet and still, the stereotype is/was that WAGs are catty beauty queens who couldn’t care about anything beyond themselves, and needless to say, I didn’t want any parts of it. Long story short, after a beautiful friendship, then courtship, my boyfriend won me over with his intelligence, kind heart, and love of fishing, hiking, and hunting, oh, and did I mention he’s fine? But I digress, lol. The closer it drew to the season, the more activities I participated in with the team. I met some wonderfully talented, kind-hearted women at galas and dinners who welcomed me with open arms and vowed to show me the WAGS ropes. They fit no preconceived notion that I had. Their openness immediately shocked and warmed this cynical journalist's heart so I let my guard down. One particular woman was quick to show me the ropes, even though she’d just become a WAG herself. She picked me up from the airport when I flew in while B was practicing, I rode with her to camp, talked to her about the season, even let her in about my family- the way I was raised and how I felt about losing my mother a year ago. I trusted her. Stood up for her, and shared one of the most intimate parts of my life with her — my man. Slowly but surely she started talking to me and telling me the "business" of other WAG women that I barely knew. And then, through a series of unfortunate events, I found out that she’d been gossiping and talking about me. I should have known, my mama always said "if a dog will bring a bone, he’ll (or she’ll) carry it." She took my candidness for weakness, spread lies about me, including me being a gold digger (although I came to my relationship with money, a flourishing career, and everything in my name.) She even talked about my curves, my upbringing (my parents had been married 43 years before my mama died so somehow this made me “spoiled”), called me “Insta Thotty” because of the amount of followers I have-even with a feed that's devoid of risqué photos. She basically turned everything I told her into a falsehood or a reason she thought, that I thought I was better. Yes, I could have brushed it off of my shoulders as jealousy — let it go. I didn’t let on that I knew at first. I just sat back and waited for her to do it again. Screenshots from conversations she’d had about me confirmed my suspicions. Mind you - six months ago, I didn’t know this woman. I still don’t really know her but, through her lies and cattiness, her character was unfortunately revealed to me.

Credit: foxessa-foxhome.blogspot.com
Credit: foxessa-foxhome.blogspot.com

There are three things that don’t fly with me. Don’t talk about my God, my family (which includes my close friends) or my man. When lies got back to him from her mouth, I knew her drama had gone too far. How dare she? This isn’t Love & Hip Hop, this is real life. Drama during the season is a "no no" and during that period in time, we hadn’t even had our first home game. I let her know to keep our names out of her mouth and keep her drama and pathology to herself. I can bare the brunt of gossip — but to bring it to my doorstep? No. Why am I writing this proverbial dear John letter you ask? It’s because I thought of this: The world of professional sports goes beyond the field and the court. The support, love, and care we give our men — how happy and comfortable we make them is intrinsically tied to their success. But in that same vein, the support we give each other-woman to woman is so important as well. We share the same worries, the same fears, the same highs and the same excitement. As WAGS we understand the extra responsibilities that come along with dating our men, the stewardship, the service. We understand each other when it comes to this NFL world — best. We should be there for each other and we should be above the cattiness. We should seek to edify and uplift each other, support each other in person and in Christ. The world is judgmental enough towards women without adding the white noise of gossip to each other’s lives. I pulled this young lady up and I’ve forgiven her in my heart already because that’s what a Christian does. No need for negativity. If anything, I feel bad for her because whatever or whoever you believe in whether it be reciprocity or karma — they’re both real. When you aren’t supportive of one woman simply because you have unfounded hatred and immaturity in your heart, who will want to be around you and in turn support you? No one wants that negativity and hatred in their wheelhouse.

The season is officially here ladies! Let’s make an extra effort to support each other, to add happiness and positivity to one another's lives. Let’s all be the antithesis of the woman in this post. We all fall short but let’s stand up for camaraderie instead of cattiness.

Happy "Wife", Happy Life

Hey Ladies! So preseason is over, YAY!! Have y’all adjusted yet? I know, for myself, having Tevin home this past month to help with the kids has been missed greatly. And yes, it is also hard for the guys to be away as much as they are during the day and not be able to communicate as often as we would like. As we gear up for the season this month, whether you have kids, or not, here are a few ways to help you transition into one of the busiest times of our year!

1) Find outlets outside of football/ "SAHM" life

For me, being a stay at home mom is seriously the biggest blessing I could ask for. With that being said, it’s hard work. By no means does it feel like a luxury. I knew that I needed other things to focus on rather than slowly lose my sanity in this crazy life of mine. I love being creative so what I did as my outlet was start my own business. This gives me the incentive I need to push myself as well as motivation to take personal time every now and then. A good friend of mine, Sara, wife of Washington Redskins Ziggy Hood, says her outlets are working out and cooking. They always say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach and I’m pretty sure she nailed that one!

sarahood-1024x999.jpg

2) Find a routine that works for you and stick to it

angelsbabies-e1473128569354-768x1024.jpg

Whether it’s taking a morning jog or making sure that your children nap at a certain time so that you have a moment of peace-it is important to remember, “you can’t pour from an empty pot.” Being the best mom that you can be requires to be the best YOU that you can be. Having a nap time schedule and an early bed time is one the the best ways you can achieve time for yourself.  

https://youtu.be/uLX5kt6RuJw

3) Take time for yourself and your friendships

I have met SO many amazing women through WAGS Redefined. The lifestyle that we live is a very unique one so it’s also harder than most people would understand. Who better to help you get through things like camp, preseason and season than those who are going through it as well? If you haven’t ventured out and followed people via social media than I suggest that you do so! Outside of #WAGSR, I encourage you to have a life outside of your home where you are able to be yourself.

4) Get dressed and ready for the day

I am SO guilty of not doing this. I get busy doing other things and before I know it it’s noon and I am still wearing the same clothes I wore yesterday. It’s tough but I know when I look good, I feel good. It’s easy to get stuck in a rut and let yourself get down. Sara (@embracingbeautybysara_) has a beauty blog that gives me life! She has two children and somehow still manages to get a workout in and have her makeup done almost every day.

angelandson.jpg

5)  Make sure that at the end of day, you talk to your man!

I’m aware of how stressful their days are and can be. But it’s also very important for the two of you to stay connected. Make time at the end of the day to vent to each other and relax. As a stay at home mom, it’s crucial to your sanity to have adult interactions and especially when your toddler's day was "ruined" because you gave him the red cup and not the blue cup.

featuredangel.jpg

So, whether you’re a full time mom, entrepreneur, going to school or working to find out what fits you- each role is important. As Sara said best when I asked her to give me a tip or two: “The key is to not be so caught up in our men that we lose ourselves and our mind in the process.  That's why finding a hobby to lift our spirits, whether it’s through fitness or makeup, is so important (especially when you’re a mother). After all, Happy wife, Happy life- right?”

sarahoodmua-1024x1003.jpg