Putting the OFF in offseason

OK, OK.  So, I know technically it's not exactly the “off season” but most of our guys do have a few weeks where they don’t have to report to the facilities.  I remember the first year I realized that the guys had some time off in the summer and I was so excited for beach trips and fun in the sun with my man! Little did I know I was going to be disappointed.  

Summer around the NFL can mean football camps, weddings, agent extravaganzas and babies (if you were lucky enough to time it just right.)  The adorable child-fans are finally out of school and can't wait to see their favorite players, whether it’s signing autographs, attending their camps or seeing them train outside in the hot sun of their local neighborhoods. Engaged NFL couples that weren’t married in the spring are probably getting married in the summer.  After spending the whole day in the sun working our honey's camps -coordinating kids and volunteers, directing people on where to go AND reminding everyone about the importance of hydration (other people worry about that right? or is that just me?), you are probably still not heading home for a nap.  You’re most likely running errands, picking out a baby gift, washing clothes and packing for your next trip or entertaining your own child for the rest of the day. Don’t get me wrong, I love it and I know my honey does too. So much that he started a foundation to make sure that I never have free time—I mean, to give back to the community.

Looking at our calendar we are busy ALL SUMMER SIXTEEN *insert Drake voice here*. We have one weekend that we don’t have anything planned but we also need to pack up our entire house, so my guess is THAT will be that weekend.  Trust me, I’m not complaining.  What I’m trying to say is: SUMMER IS EXHAUSTING!

So here are a few things to do to relax and get in your slice of personal time with little to no planning.

1. Backyard Dinners

I haven’t tried this one quite yet but I’ve been waiting to. Something about the summer night sky that is just as beautiful as it was when I was a kid gets me every time.  Send the kids to bed, grandma’s or even a friend’s house.  Order something good from one of those amazing new delivery services (postmates, favor, foodie call, eat in out etc.) that don’t just deliver fast food.  Open a bottle of wine and just have dinner.  If you want something with a little more "pizazz", you can hire a chef, a two or three person wait staff or a personal bartender for the night.  If you have a hot tub or pool then a late night dip after dinner may not be a bad option either.

2. Have him try your workout (and vice versa)!

Even in the off-season our guys are making sure they are staying in shape and ready for camp. Oftentimes, I run off to one work out and my honey runs off to another.  So, a few years ago I introduced him to a Barre work out that I had been doing and HE LOVED IT.  So much that he got his friends together and they do Barre without me!  Sometimes I tag along to his gym workouts and do what I can and he encourages me when I get embarrassed (nothing like tripping over agility ropes around professional athletes.)  I love these days because I get to see how hard he’s working and it just feels good to hear his encouragement and excitement. This also leads to impromptu lunch dates and great laughs for the rest of the day because I’m not the most athletic.

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3. Go see a movie

No, not “date night."  Go in the middle of the day. Actually, go right after a football camp. Go when you’re hot, sweaty and just plain tired. It’s a great way to simply relax. It's cold and the theater is likely empty and guess what?  You don’t even have to talk. You’ve probably been on your feet, talking, entertaining and directing everyone else all day long.  A midday movie is a great way to escape away from phones and e-mails and reset for the rest of the day.

4. Shopping

For me, sometimes shopping is a chore. I’m lugging around a baby or chasing around a toddler most of the time.  I can’t zip myself, I tend to get annoyed by the large heaps of unorganized clothes and I don’t like crowds. What I do enjoy is when we use a weekday and we ditch the kid (usually he’s at daycare but if you’re a SAHM try swapping play dates with a friend to get away—"it takes a village.")  These shopping dates double as fun and functional.  We go off in search of an outfit for an event or wedding and it's fun because we get to laugh when things look horrible, he’s there to hold my things and even catch a glimpse of my nakie *insert winking face here*.  Then, I get to help him pick out a coordinating outfit and if you’re particularly stylish (unlike myself) you get to dress him up. When you give yourself time to do this kind of shopping its actually pretty fun and light.

5. Test Drive Cars

This may not be everyone’s cup of tea but I find something particularly fun about test driving dream cars.  My husband doesn’t have a multimillion dollar contract and that’s totally okay with me but, that’s not going to stop me from at least test driving the car of my dreams!  Call me simple, basic or whatever but some luxury cars have features that are very cool to test out (I drive a 2016 Ford Edge so I may be easily impressed.) Keep in mind that these test drives don’t have to be at the dealerships.  Many rental car companies keep dream cars in stock and you can use a quick Google search for exotic car rentals and rent one there.  So why not rent one of those for the next time y’all will be out running errands?  Take the long way home or head to a drive in movie together!

I may never own my dream car, we may not visit every place on my bucket list and there have been years where a trip wasn’t in the plans.  In fact, we still haven’t gone on our “honeymoon."  We spent a few days fishing at someone else’s lake house, eating horrible Mexican food and takeout for the days immediately following our April wedding.  I laugh when I remember walking out of a dressing room to find my husband leaned against a wall asleep.  My heart is full when I think about how hard he tried to make the perfect proposal only to have us sleep in a literal "roach motel" that night because he forgot to book a room in San Antonio (full disclaimer, we had to buy our own sheets and Lysol because it was so dirty).

Trust me, I understand the urge to want to escape to a beach far away, especially when so many of our friends are posting about their extravaganzas.  But I’ve learned through the years that the time I spend with my husband isn’t any more special, domestic or abroad.  We will continue to make sure we cater to our relationship as we strive to impact others and be supportive of our friends.

What are some things you are doing to make sure you get a little alone time with your guy? Drop us a comment and give your fellow WAGS some suggestions!

How to Develop Relationships that Stand the Test of Time

John 15:13, “No one has greater love than this, that someone would lay down his life for his friends.” Proverbs 18:24, “A man [that hath] friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend [that] sticketh closer than a brother.”

Relationship building is a key element to happiness in life, but very few will master. True friendships are built through selflessness, consideration, compromise and loyalty. Sometimes the hardest friendships to develop are the ones you have for a long time. It can be easy to take them for granted because it seems like those people will simply be there forever.

There are a few things that we all must do to maintain and develop lasting friends.

1. Be the kind of friend you want

Start treating your friends the way you want them to treat you, and you will begin to see them treat you the same way in return.

2. Ask questions

Find out how your friends are doing. Ask them about the things that they are involved in. Focus on the things you know they talk about, and be prepared to listen or help.

3. Offer your help when needed

A strong relationship means being ready to lend a hand to the projects and needs of others without making them beg or feel like they owe you a huge debt.

4. Be an encouragement

Try to be supportive as possible of your friend’s ideas and ambitions. You don’t have to support dangerous or immoral ideas, but when it’s within reason, offer your support. Try to be your friend’s biggest cheerleader.

True friendships are hard to come by and friendships that last are tested by time. Life’s greatest accomplishments are made solid through the support, laughter, tears and love of true friends. Don’t take them for granted!

Let’s Pray …

Father, we thank You that You have called us friend just like you did Abraham. Thank You for the friendships You have given us. Help us to treat others as we would want them to treat us. Reveal to us the things that are not pleasing in Your sight towards our relationships. Allow us to be kind, encouragers and uplifters of our friends and those you have placed in our lives. Grant us the wisdom, knowledge and understanding that it takes to handle each relationship with care and concern. Let us not take those for granted that are meant to be in our lives through the test of time, and in Jesus name we pray, Amen.

Super Bowl 50: How to Bring Home a Winning Marriage

First Published on the National Football League Player Engagement Website. Super Bowl 50 is just around the corner. It is sure to be a fabulous weekend where stars will walk red carpets past real and imaginary seas of adoring fans. Cameras will click both to boost the egos of those in attendance and to give the media outlets a chance to score pictures of some of the hottest names in sports and entertainment. Fans will pour in from all over the world to celebrate their favorite teams competing for the Lombardi trophy. Invite-only parties will commence all over the city. Inside, those on corporate expense accounts mingle with recognizable sports faces and others who were lucky enough to slip in as a part of a star’s entourage.

Last year, my husband and I were in the latter category, his NFC championship ring holding no power to get our names on the invite-only lists to which his more high-profile friends were invited. Free-flowing drinks, tray-passed foods, and fashionable young people filled the rooms. But even among the facade of fame, I couldn’t help but notice the number of married people who were there alone. I also couldn’t help but notice the number of women, married and not, who circled the single-in-attendance athletes like piranhas ready to strike. Despite my focus on them, it wasn’t just the athletes who attracted attention. Men and women on corporate expense accounts flirted their way to and from parties, over cocktails in their nicest outfits for co-workers and strangers while their spouses presumably slept at home.

Sure, some stars are paid to be there and think of it as work. Others are just business men and women who have the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to attend the Super Bowl. But as the wife of a retired athlete, after seeing what I saw, I couldn’t rest peacefully knowing my husband was in the shark tank, regardless of why he was there.

I’m sure that Super Bowl parties are not the only corporate events that invite married people to forget their morals and their marriages. But as a woman who champions monogamy, I implore you to protect your marriage regardless of how exciting a party might seem. Players and teams throughout the NFL work hard year round to put themselves in the position to be successful. Many of those teams trip up through the long NFL season and end up with a losing record. Only the teams that have the discipline and determination to succeed make it to the playoffs.

Marriage and relationships are no different. As a marriage grows in years, so do the stakes. No team would knowingly put themselves in a position to lose, so why put yourself or your spouse in a position to fail? Don’t go out alone. If you can’t be there together, don’t go. There is nothing that can make the potential loss worth more than the experience. Super Bowl events are spectacular. If you have the chance to attend Super Bowl 50 or any other fun event with your spouse, be there together and live the experiences together. Let the experience propel your marriage with happy memories that you create together instead of tempting fate in a way that may ultimately drive you apart.